It's like Deja Vu!

My Reefy Boy started Kindergarten yesterday. It seems so crazy to me that he is already old enough to be in elementary school. He was so excited to start school, you could just see it on his face. I was a little nervous because I didn't know how he would do. It is all day kinder and he isn't used to getting up so early and he just has some trouble focusing... he is my son, so that part makes complete sense to me.

When I went to pick him up I asked him how his day was.. He told he had so much fun and his teacher was soo nice. He told me he gets to be line leader (the perks of having the last name Aiono!) And that some kids had to sit in the "thinking" chair, but not him! That some kids got a yellow and 1 kid got a red, BUT he was soo good! I was thinking, "Awesome! He may actually be really good at this school thing!" 

I dropped him off again this morning, told him to be a good boy just like yesterday and watched him run off to play with some friends before school started. As I drove off I was thinking, "I am soo proud of him! He is going to be fine!" I think I even said that last part aloud to my mother in law. When I picked him up today, I asked how his day was and he told me good. I asked him if he ate lunch and he informed me that he wasn't hungry during lunchtime, but got hungry after lunch and when he told his teacher he needed to eat, she told him no and made him sit down. I guess we need to go over lunchtime and the appropriate time to eat at school... So, onto the good part.. I pulled out his folder and found this...

uumm... wait... that can't be right.. my son can't have a yellow on the first day of school.. He just told me yesterday that he was soo good and loved school and only some kids got yellows and one kid got red and it wasn't him so this must be someone else's calendar... NOPE! It was my son's.. He got a yellow. On his first day of school. In Kindergarten... just like he did on his first day of preschool... at least there is some improvement, he didn't get a yellow for punching anyone yesterday. ;) Oh the joys of being a Mom!

Confession.. My kids have too many toys.. It really is a problem!

I have this issue with toys... I HATE THEM!  I hate having them all over my house. I find them in my bedroom, my bedroom closet, the bathrooms,  the bathroom toilet (Thanks Hawk ;)), the fridge and the kitchen. I tell my boys at least 3 times a day to put their toys in their playroom. I am so OCD I literally have a spot for every single toy. So, this is what the playroom should look like...

Books stacked nicely on the shelf, masks hung, costumes underneath the masks, big toys in the big basket and cars, Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers, Super Heroes, and some other misc. things in the Spiderman organizer. I wish the playroom always looked like this! I would be the happiest Mom in the world... BUT... this is what the playroom usually looks like on a day to day basis...

DON'T BE ALARMED! An earthquake did not come through our home.. this was all done by two very energetic, messy little boys! 

For the past two days I have asked the boys to clean up their playroom. I took away video games, phones, playing outside, playing, eating (no, not really that would be bad!), basically anything fun until it was clean. Instead of getting the beautiful clean playroom I wanted I got a whole lot of complaining... mostly from Reef because as my family likes to say, "Reef is a lazy Samoan!" I got the following, "my feet hurt, I can't walk!", "my tummy hurts too much!", "I think I'm too sick to clean!", "I'm gonna run away to Nama Margie's house!", "You are the meanest Mommy ever!", "I didn't even make this mess!", "This is the worst thing ever!", "Other little boys don't have to clean their playrooms!", "What? You aren't gonna help me?", "I accidentally locked the playroom door.." Seriously the list could go on and on! There were a couple of times that I didn't get any complaining so I thought they were actually cleaning, only to walk in and find them playing in an even big mess than before.

Now my Hawky boy... He gets the job done! It just may not always be the way I want it..

He throws Every. Single. Toy. in the closet! Honestly, its better than nothing at all- I'll take it... That is until my OCD kicks in and I go clean in myself. So, my dilemma is what do I do about this? Do I throw away all their toys so they can't make these insane messes anymore? Do I stop buying toys? Do I make them clean it up every single night before bed? I just don't know. The only thing I know for sure is they are making memories together. There is nothing better than hearing the laughs, the stories, the imagination that comes from that playroom. I honestly think I am willing to deal with the mess because that makes it all worth it.. most of the time ;)

Side note: Reef just walked up to me as I was posting these pictures and asked, "Who took that picture? Why is that picture up there?" I let him know that I was blogging about their messy playroom. In which he responded with an, "Uugghhh!!!!"

I am HIS daughter.

I had a HORRIBLE delivery with Briar. My labor with Reef lasted 6 hours and my labor with Hawk lasted 5... With Briar... it lasted 16 hours. To make matters worse, by the time I was ready to push, my epidural had worn off from my waist up. I felt every tear, contraction, push.. it was awful. I had to be stitched from one end the other, internally and externally. As you could imagine, I had a pretty painful recovery. I was lucky enough to have my sister and mom here when I came home and then the week after that my mother in law came. They were my saving graces for sure! BUT after they left and my husband had to go back to work, I was alone.. You are probably thinking, "Wow.. it couldn't have been that bad.. dramatic much??" BUT for me, it really was. I had to learn to be a mom of three, with not much help (my husband works 10 hours a day, he leaves at noon and doesn't get home until about 10PM), while in pain, no sleep, and no car to get us out of the house (not like I would even attempt to do that on my own) to save us from insanity. I really felt like I was losing it. I would go into my room, lock the door and just cry. I remember one day in particular, I was having a difficult time breast feeding. It was especially painful on one side and I was feeling like I should stop nursing on that side all together. I just had such a problem with quitting. I didn't want to have to supplement. We are blessed with the ability to nurse for a reason, so how could I just give up and give my baby formula? I really started to feel like I was failing as a mother. I just broke down. I had lost it. I pleaded with my Father in Heaven to just help me heal quickly and to give me reassurance that I was a good mom and that I was doing the best I could. It was in that moment that I realized I NEED my Heavenly Father, I NEED my Savior. They are real, they live, and they are always there to help us in times of trial. I immediately felt this sense of peace and a calm washed over me. My sweet Reef came in and gave me a hug and said, "I love you Mommy! You are the best Mommy I ever had, don't be sad!" That is exactly what I needed to hear. My kids think I am the best mommy in the world, they love me, they adore me and think I am the greatest. I truly believe my Father in Heaven used my son as his way of letting me know that I am doing ok, that I am doing the best I can and my kids can see that. I am so incredibly grateful for my Father in Heaven.  I am his daughter, he cares about me, he is aware of my needs, insecurities, and my fears. He is there to strengthen me, uplift me, and comfort me.  I truly would be lost without him. I was scrolling through youtube and I came across this song. It brought tears to my eyes and gave me so much comfort. I felt this overwhelming need to share it with you all. I hope it touches you the way it did me.

What I've learned being a mom to 3.

Our beautiful baby girl, Briar Estelle Aiono, was born on January 24th at 7:56am. She is the cutest, sweetest, cuddly, most beautiful, little thing I've ever seen (I may be alittle biased:))...

Before she was born I had envisioned what life would be like with 3 kids. I thought I would bounce back to my normal self in no time and it would be a piece of cake. I was sooo wrong. I was literally in labor for 16 hours (that is a whole other story that I will share another time) and it definitely took a toll on my body. Briar is 6 weeks old and I am still not my "normal" self. I came home from the hospital and felt as if I had been hit by a train and all I wanted to do was lay down all day long and not move if I didn't have to. Lucky for me, I had my sister Erika and my mom here to help and the following week my MIL came. I realized quickly after everyone left and I had to be a mom again that it was not as easy as I thought it would be. It was so much harder. So here are a few things I've learned in the 6 weeks that Briar has joined our family...

• Blogging is much easier with 2 kids.. ;)

• Life is not perfect, I am not perfect And that is OK!

• I am enough (my kids love me regardleas of my flaws, I don't even think they notice them)

• I rely on our Savior so much more. Thank goodness for prayer.

• My house doesn't/ won't be clean for longer than 5 minutes, and that's ok.

• Dishes in the sink can wait until tomorrow.

• Sleep= more patience the next day, which is something my entire family needs from me.

• I need "ME" time. Time to myself. Time to reflect on the day, on the things I need to change or work on.

• Bedtimes are critical! They are my sanity.. 

• Sometimes its ok to sit my kids in front of the TV all day. It is literally the only way I will get things done. 

• It is perfectly ok to cry. I cry when I feel like it. it is amazing what a good cry session can do for the soul.

• Don't be afraid to ask for help. If you need it, ask!

• Baths are heaven on earth. They are my escape.

• I love my husband even more than I did with 2 kids. He is truly one of the greatest men I have ever met. I am beyond blessed to have him as my husband.

I feel so blessed to be given the opportunity to raise 3 of my Heavenly Father's most beautiful children. I can never fully express my gratitude and love toward him. I thank him every single day for this blessing. 

Potty Training..

It has been my own personal Hell! Anyone who has ever said it was easy potty training their son.. is LYING! or they don't have a son named Hawk. My son is exactly 2 years and 11 months old, which means it has taken me 2 years, 10 months and 27 days to potty train him. I cannot tell you how many times I have tried and failed.. miserably! I tried the "stay home for 3 days and let him run wild naked, asking every 10 minutes if he needed to go", the "cheerio in the toilet and have him aim game", the "I'll give you a treat if you go pee pee in the potty trick" and NOTHING worked. There would be pee and poop in places you never want to have to clean (walls included.. oh you didn't know that poop is the new finger paint?). It really was just awful! I finally decided that I was just going to wait, because he clearly did not understand the concept. I was actually fine changing his diapers and found it easier than always having to run him to the bathroom wherever we were.. Just call me lazy ;).. The problem with all of this?? I am due in 3 weeks, which means 2 kids in diapers, which means $$ and carrying 2 different sized diapers with me at all times, which equals one big headache for me! I decided it was time to give it another shot. I took his diaper off Wednesday morning and told him he had to go pee pee in the potty, that he was a big boy and Mommy was tired of changing his diapers. Let me be honest for a minute, I completely forgot that I didn't have him in a diaper, I never asked him if he needed to go potty or anything.. All of a sudden I hear a flush in the hall bathroom and run to see who it is. It was my HAWKY BOY! He did it! All on his own. I was so proud and so happy! Throughout the day he kept going to the bathroom all on his own. When Jared got home from work he took the boys to the park to ride bikes and I thought for sure he was going to have an accident. Jared kept asking him and he kept saying no and when they got home, he ran to go potty. We decided it was time to reward him for making it the whole day without an accident. We asked him what kind of treat he wanted, his response? "I wanna ride my fuad! (translation= quad)" My son, the redneck! If I am being truthful, It really hasn't been all rainbows and roses.. He has had 2 accidents in 3 days, one of them being a "number 2" accident, which led my husband to gag and just about die.. It was hilarious! The best part about potty training a boy? pee. on. the. toilet. seat. 

It is disgusting and just not right!

I am just extra careful when using their bathroom and have to be a bit more devoted to cleaning the toilet a few times a day. All in all, I am just so glad I will only have one baby in diapers, even if it means pee in places I never knew existed ;) Way to go my Hawky Boy! Mommy is so proud!

Confession… I need church!

The entire purpose of this blog is to be REAL and HONEST so that is what this post is all about. I am writing this because I have been in such a crummy mood all day long and I know why.. We had stake conference today and we didn't go.. I have no good excuse to offer, we just didn't go..
I was born and raised A member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or as most people know us, Mormon. We went to church every Sunday for 3 hours. My parents made sure the Gospel was always a big part of our lives and we were raised with strong values and high morals. Although, I never liked waking up at 8am every Sunday to get ready for church and I was usually always in a bad mood before.. (literally every single Sunday was awful for my family because I was always so grumpy)  once I was there, I loved it! I grew up in the same ward from the time I was 7 up until I was 18. I had many friends from church and I pretty much knew every family in my ward. When I married Jared we went to his family ward that he had gone to since he was a baby. I absolutely LOVED that ward. Many people became family and we developed some lasting friendships that we will cherish forever. When Jared got a job in Arizona one if my biggest fears was going to a completely new ward where we didn't know anyone. I remember my first time visiting Maricopa 4th Ward, we had a lot of people come up and introduce themselves, and it was in that moment that I realized how shy I actually was. I wouldn't talk to anyone unless they talked to me first and the conversations were always a bit awkward. I never felt that connection that we had from our previous wards. Pretty soon after moving to Arizona, Jared had to work Sundays, which meant I had to go to church by myself with my two boys.. Reef was 2 and Hawk was about 6 months old. I started waking up grumpy every Sunday again and I literally made every excuse I had to not go. I can honestly say for the first year and a half we lived here I went to our home ward about 6 times. For the first year they had me introduce myself in Relief Society every time I was there. There were several times I would wake up determined to go, I would get the boys ready, get to church and they would be EXTREMELY naughty, which led me giving up and going home in the middle of Sacrament. I started noticing a change in our home and in our family dynamic. We became "that family" that would get little notes on our door and the missionaries/ members coming by to see how we were doing, we were "less active".. It feels so weird to even type that.. I never in a million years would think that we would have that problem, but it is the truth… I started going down to San Diego a lot after that and would attend church every single time I was there. I started to miss Sacrament and especially Relief Society and I felt horrible for my kids because I knew they were missing out on so much. Jared and I realized that we needed to get our priorities straight. We knew what was really important and what we wanted for our family, so things definitely had to change. I started taking the boys by myself since Jared still worked Sundays. It started to get a little easier as time went on. My boys started to learn how they are supposed to act in church and knew my expectations. A few months after our conversation, my husband was offered a position at work that would allow him to have most of Sunday off (He didn't have to go in until 9pm). It truly was an answer to my prayers. That first Sunday that Jared had off, we both couldn't go to sleep for some strange reason. We didn't end up go to bed until about 2 and had to be up at 7:30 to get ready for church. When I heard that alarm go off I was so tempted to hit the snooze button, BUT I didn't. We all woke up, got ready, and went to church. My boys were so good and they were both excited to go to primary and nursery. Later that night, my husband left for work  and I got a text from him saying, "Thank you for making sure we went to church today, it felt good to be where we were supposed to be. I love you." I always knew, but it was so much more apparent in that moment, that we could not make any more excuses and that we had made the right decision. We NEED church, we NEED the gospel in our lives, we NEED the Holy Ghost as our constant companion. I am so incredibly grateful to my parents for raising me in the gospel. I am grateful for the peace and calmness I feel at church. I am grateful for my Savior's atoning sacrifice and his unconditional love, I know that it is through him that I have the opportunity to be with my family forever. In October we had General Conference and one of my favorite talks was President Uchtdorf's. It is never too late to come back. Our Father in Heaven loves us and wants us to find peace and joy in our lives, and I can say without a shadow of doubt that it can be found through the gospel of Jesus Christ. I hope that maybe there is someone who needed to read something like this and that they find some strength and comfort in knowing they are not alone..

Confession... I hate working out… and I can't jump!

I absolutely HATE working out! It is painful and exhausting and I usually never see the results that I would like. It is really just awful! I always find great workout regimens on Pinterest or find workout DVD's at Walmart and swear that I will use them, but I never do..

This e- card is so perfect for me.

So, before I got pregnant with our baby girl, I thought I would give it a try, a real wholehearted attempt. I started eating better, running and doing Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred (I really really dislike her for that DVD, by the way) And I can honestly say I was in the best shape I have been in since having kids. I was seeing results that I was actually really proud of. My BMI was going down (I am way too embarrassed to share that number..) and I was losing weight. I could actually run a mile without passing out, I could get through a session of 30 Day Shred without stopping, and I was actually able to jump higher than a few inches off the ground.. No, that is not an exaggeration. Sad, I know.. About 3 weeks into my workout routine I went down to San Diego. I was really excited to see if anyone could tell that I had been exercising, but even more excited to show my family how high I could jump after strengthening my leg muscles.

Insert weird family quirks here 

My family likes to have jumping competitions. My sisters were both cheerleaders and can do toe touches like its no big deal, my brother is a wanna be lyrical dancer and tries to do some crazy dance moves that involve jumping really high and my brother in law Lex uses his "jumping skills" as a weapon. These competitions usually end in me crying because Lex always likes to use his "jumping weapon skills" on me…

So, with all of that said, I'm going to share this very shameful embarrassing video that was taken while I was down in San Diego to show you just how high I could jump while in the best shape of my life…

Isn't that sad? After watching the video back I see just how bad I am at jumping and maybe I should just give up on that skill. As far as my working out goes, it is basically nonexistent, other than walking Reef to and from school. I will just have to give the whole "get in shape" thing another try after we have baby girl! ;)