Confession… I need church!

The entire purpose of this blog is to be REAL and HONEST so that is what this post is all about. I am writing this because I have been in such a crummy mood all day long and I know why.. We had stake conference today and we didn't go.. I have no good excuse to offer, we just didn't go..
I was born and raised A member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or as most people know us, Mormon. We went to church every Sunday for 3 hours. My parents made sure the Gospel was always a big part of our lives and we were raised with strong values and high morals. Although, I never liked waking up at 8am every Sunday to get ready for church and I was usually always in a bad mood before.. (literally every single Sunday was awful for my family because I was always so grumpy)  once I was there, I loved it! I grew up in the same ward from the time I was 7 up until I was 18. I had many friends from church and I pretty much knew every family in my ward. When I married Jared we went to his family ward that he had gone to since he was a baby. I absolutely LOVED that ward. Many people became family and we developed some lasting friendships that we will cherish forever. When Jared got a job in Arizona one if my biggest fears was going to a completely new ward where we didn't know anyone. I remember my first time visiting Maricopa 4th Ward, we had a lot of people come up and introduce themselves, and it was in that moment that I realized how shy I actually was. I wouldn't talk to anyone unless they talked to me first and the conversations were always a bit awkward. I never felt that connection that we had from our previous wards. Pretty soon after moving to Arizona, Jared had to work Sundays, which meant I had to go to church by myself with my two boys.. Reef was 2 and Hawk was about 6 months old. I started waking up grumpy every Sunday again and I literally made every excuse I had to not go. I can honestly say for the first year and a half we lived here I went to our home ward about 6 times. For the first year they had me introduce myself in Relief Society every time I was there. There were several times I would wake up determined to go, I would get the boys ready, get to church and they would be EXTREMELY naughty, which led me giving up and going home in the middle of Sacrament. I started noticing a change in our home and in our family dynamic. We became "that family" that would get little notes on our door and the missionaries/ members coming by to see how we were doing, we were "less active".. It feels so weird to even type that.. I never in a million years would think that we would have that problem, but it is the truth… I started going down to San Diego a lot after that and would attend church every single time I was there. I started to miss Sacrament and especially Relief Society and I felt horrible for my kids because I knew they were missing out on so much. Jared and I realized that we needed to get our priorities straight. We knew what was really important and what we wanted for our family, so things definitely had to change. I started taking the boys by myself since Jared still worked Sundays. It started to get a little easier as time went on. My boys started to learn how they are supposed to act in church and knew my expectations. A few months after our conversation, my husband was offered a position at work that would allow him to have most of Sunday off (He didn't have to go in until 9pm). It truly was an answer to my prayers. That first Sunday that Jared had off, we both couldn't go to sleep for some strange reason. We didn't end up go to bed until about 2 and had to be up at 7:30 to get ready for church. When I heard that alarm go off I was so tempted to hit the snooze button, BUT I didn't. We all woke up, got ready, and went to church. My boys were so good and they were both excited to go to primary and nursery. Later that night, my husband left for work  and I got a text from him saying, "Thank you for making sure we went to church today, it felt good to be where we were supposed to be. I love you." I always knew, but it was so much more apparent in that moment, that we could not make any more excuses and that we had made the right decision. We NEED church, we NEED the gospel in our lives, we NEED the Holy Ghost as our constant companion. I am so incredibly grateful to my parents for raising me in the gospel. I am grateful for the peace and calmness I feel at church. I am grateful for my Savior's atoning sacrifice and his unconditional love, I know that it is through him that I have the opportunity to be with my family forever. In October we had General Conference and one of my favorite talks was President Uchtdorf's. It is never too late to come back. Our Father in Heaven loves us and wants us to find peace and joy in our lives, and I can say without a shadow of doubt that it can be found through the gospel of Jesus Christ. I hope that maybe there is someone who needed to read something like this and that they find some strength and comfort in knowing they are not alone..